When's your reading?

The only thing holding me back from a live reading of my work is a dissatisfaction with audiences. At most, if I were lucky, I'd get an audience of one or two dozen friends, most of whom would either politely pretend to like what they hear, or like it only because they know me--objective liking or disliking of any kind is somewhat impossible under this circumstance. I would also have to deal with the uncomfortable company of weird fans, whom Tolkien also disliked.

Furthermore, there is only one person I write for, and she doesn't care about me in the slightest. My Div III (Hampshire's year-long final project--mine is a book called The Exemplary Novellas) is dedicated to her, but secretly (ma piano!), and she'll only figure it out if I tell her (which I won't--it's cowardly!) or if she reads it herself, of her own volition (which I doubt she'd do if her life depended on it). This paragraph will actually be quite useful to future readers and exegetes.

To tell you the honest truth I'd only be happy with a live audience of thousands, booing or cheering, reproving my efforts with their glistening oil--give me the truth of the matter, whatever it is, and give it to me shouted at the top of twenty thousand lungs.

But I might have one anyway. I was in a good mood this morning and easily convinced. But as the daylight has faltered and darkened both my mood and my resolve have faltered and darkened with it.